boys are not m & m's,,,

This was posted earlier today by a friend of mine on Facebook. I'm not a fan of this analogy. I'm not a fan of analogies as a whole, but particularly ones which make boys or girls think less of themselves or question their worth. It's a type of profiling and is utterly wrong.

I understand letting girls know the statistics about violence against women and males being the primary perpetrators. I will let my daughter know this, and will teach her how to be careful and how to weed out those people who are not worth her time as best as I can. I will teach her that her body is her own and no one is allowed to touch it or tell her what to do with it without her express consent. I will tell her that if she is ever hurt by anyone, male or female, that she should not be ashamed and should report it immediately to the authorities and feel free to talk to anyone in the family about it as much as she needs to.

Awareness is good, painting all men as potential monsters is not. The best thing is teaching our boys how to treat other people with kindness and respect. As parents we should be respectful and loving to our boys, ever striving to be as gentle and wise with them as we are able to be. Teach and model integrity. It's in short supply in this world and is needed more than ever. 

Our boys are the key to ending domestic violence, abuse against women and other men, and rape. Being male, in and of itself, is not the issue. I have faith in my young men that they can be part of the solution, not the problem.

I am the proud mother of five boys. My oldest is now 19, my youngest son is 12. They are not m & m's. They are not monsters. And when they go out on dates I expect them to treat their dates with respect and to understand that women are right to have some trepidation in trusting them blindly. All people need to earn the right to be trusted, whether they are male or female. And, all people should be given the benefit of assuming the best about them, not the worst until proven otherwise.