Ten things I want my daughter to know about being a woman...

1. The world, in the form of media and/or religion, will try to define for you what it is to be a woman and what femininity means. The answer however, is much simpler. If you are an adult and you have a vagina, you are a woman. Being feminine doesn't mean you can't be a feminist. Expecting equality because you are a person is not throwing away the femaleness of your being. Femininity is a matter of perspective, if you are a woman who enjoys being female, you are feminine.
2. Modesty is not about apparel, it is a matter of the heart, period. You can be modest and wear a bikini. Modesty is also overrated. I'd rather you be a strong, kind woman in a low cut top and daisy dukes than a toxic, hateful woman in a loose fitting turtleneck and floor length skirt. Basically, don't let your wardrobe define you, let you define you. Virtue is a character trait, not an outward manifestation in your choice of clothing or the state of your virginity.
3. Beauty is not the end all, beat all thing to desire out of life. You'll get much further with a sharp wit, good education, supportive friends, and well trained mind. I happen to think you are gorgeous, but most importantly, I know you are brilliant, assertive, and strong!
4. Using your judgement is not the same as being intolerant. It's ok and good to make non-bigoted judgments about people, places, and things. Using good judgement can keep you safe and sane.
5. Men are not the enemy. You are not responsible for their thoughts or actions, you are responsible for yours. Men are, by and large, absolutely wonderful. They are however, generally bigger and stronger than you. Don't underestimate them. As best as you can, use your judgement to surround yourself with men who are like the safe, respectful men that you have grown up with. However, if you find yourself in a situation where you are hurt, don't blame yourself and please get help immediately! Call me, call your brothers, call your father, call your stepfather, call the cops, just call someone you trust and we will help you.
6. Question everything. Just because you've heard a certain thing or read a certain thing, doesn't make it true. More why's always equals more wise (I can't take credit for that, I first saw it on a David Hayward post). Dig deeper, understand more fully!
7. Embrace your spiritual nature. Humans are made up of more than just a physical body, mind, and emotional state. We also have a spiritual side. I believe in a higher power in the form of Jesus Christ and He has helped me through many hard times, I wish the same comfort for you. If however you come to a time of spiritual awakening and do not believe in Jesus as I do, I will still love you and accept you unconditionally. But as your mom, I will continue to pray for you no matter what your beliefs. If nothing else, it is my way of always having you in my heart.
8. Your body is your own and no one else's. No one has the right to touch you unless you want it to happen. Also, your pleasure is your own business. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for doing things that make you feel alive, well, beautiful, passion, relaxed, energized, and/or loved. Just be sure that you are mature enough to accept the consequences or rewards of whatever you do. This includes more than just sex, it includes drinking, body modification, and medical procedures among other things.
9. Be independent, fiercely independent, yet willing to be vulnerable with safe people. You can usually count on yourself to have your best interests at heart. Don't depend on any other person for money or happiness IF you can help it. Work hard, save as much as possible, and set aside money for things that you enjoy. If you become a stay at home mom, make sure that you are an equal partner with your husband/significant other when it comes to money and possessions. If you find yourself in a bind, ask for help. We've all been there and it isn't weak or foolish to ask for help. Be willing to be vulnerable to the one you love and who loves you. The rewards are bigger than you can imagine and the right person will lift you up and not tear you down.
10. Be generous but not a doormat. Just because you are independent doesn't give you license to withhold your time, money, or talents from those who have less and need more when you have the means to be of service. Give to charity when you can or volunteer your time and talents. However, feel free to say no to those who could help themselves but don't, or to those who you genuinely can't help. And say no without guilt or apology. You can't help everyone, and that's ok.

But above all, know this, I love you and I believe in you, always.