re-victimization of survivors in the church, the real deadly sin?

Whether you are a Christian or not, you are probably familiar with the seven deadly sins. This is a Catholic set of tenants, not a protestant one, however, even in protestant circles, these have been adopted as the "worst" sins. Here are the seven deadly sins,in case you have been living under a rock and have no knowledge of them:

1. Pride
2. Envy
3. Gluttony
4. Lust
5. Anger
6. Greed
7. Sloth

Sloth used to be listed as sadness until the seventeenth century. It's good to note that this list of seven deadly sins is man made, by one greek monk's interpretation of what were the worst sins, and then refined by a pope according to how offensive these sins were to the perceived opposite, love. These are not Biblical. There is nothing wrong with being sad, and I'm going to just put it out there that there is nothing wrong with anger. The Bible calls us to be slow to anger, and to be angry and sin not. It does not say that anger in and of itself, is sin. Other than that, yes the other deadly sins are in fact, sins.

So what does God truly despise? Did He make a list if the one provided by the Catholic church isn't applicable? Yes in fact, there is such a list! From Proverbs chapter six, we find the list. 
16 There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: 17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue,and hands that shed innocent blood,18 a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil,19 a false witness who breathes out lies,and one who sows discord among brothers.

Depending on which translation you read of the Bible, the implication is that the last one, a liar who stirs up discord among brothers (or the community in some translations) is the one that is an abomination to Him. Now the word abomination is problematic in and of itself as in the Bible there are things like shellfish which are described as abominations but we today don't view our crab cakes as anything but yummy. So, putting dietary restrictions aside, when we are talking about characteristics, I think this list is pretty timeless.

So what does this have to do with re-victimization of survivors within the church? Unfortunately, the headlines these days are littered with more and more accusations of impropriety within the church, both protestant and Catholic. I recall how haughty some Christians within the protestant community were when the accusations were first lobbed against Catholicism and it's abysmal treatment of abuse survivors. There was almost a giddy excitement of this ancient institution falling apart from within as the lies, cover ups, and re-victimization of survivors was revealed. There was the same old drawing of the "us against them" lines where they saw their churches as somehow morally superior. 

Well, they weren't. They aren't. I knew this line of thinking was wrong, being an abuse survivor myself, and having first hand experience of how the protestant church, specifically the Independent Fundamental Baptist Church, took care of survivors of abuse, sexual and otherwise. The truth is, they didn't take care of them, they were, and are, just as guilty of sowing discord among the brethren, as the Catholic church is. Haughty eyes, are eyes that are filled with arrogance, a "look at me I am so much better than you" attitude. This is prevalent within churches. I remember as a child that there were only certain churches that we were allowed to associate with, the others were seen as less godly or more worldly and we were better than them because of our legalism and differing beliefs. 

Then we have a "lying tongue". As a survivor, I was encouraged by my pastor to stay quiet about my abuse, and his failure to report my abuse is also a form of lying. In the church we have sins of commission, and sins of omission. Both sins are sins, whether you did it with the intention to sin, or did it by doing nothing and allowing hurt to continue, you are sinning.

Hands that shed innocent blood. Obviously, anyone who hurts someone to the point of bleeding or death is an awful person. Some wounds though, don't bleed blood. They bleed hurt, anger, depression, anxiety, and unresolved trauma. Both wounds are the shedding of innocence and should be held in the same moral realm of horror. If a church is made aware of a child being abused or who has a history of abuse, and they don't attempt to help, or do their best to minimize and sweep it under the rug, they are just as culpable, and have heaped further shame, distrust and fear onto the victim.

A heart that devises wicked plans. Anyone who grooms a child to be sexually abused is a person who has a heart that devises wicked plans. A church that stands behind the abuser or who doesn't reveal them and report them to authorities has conspired with them to continue the abuse.

Feet that make haste to run to evil. This one goes with the above, someone who quickly runs to evil doings. You probably know someone like this, no matter what, they always seem to be in trouble, doing one awful thing after another. An abuser is also like this, seizing every possible opportunity and making opportunities to make abuse happen.

A false witness who breathes out lies. An abuser, and the church that protects him/her is exactly that. I can't tell you how many times I was told to "get over it" or had my experience minimized by other well meaning but very mistaken people within the church. I was sexually abused for three years by a man who was a pillar of the community and a former deacon at our church. This is not a minor thing, and it is a lie to say that it was. Again, the fact that this man was not called out on his sins is protecting the liar, the abuser, who was pretending to be a Godly man.

One who sows discord among brothers. In the church, we refer to each other as brothers and sisters in Christ. My aim here in this blog, is not to sow discord, but to reveal truths. Transparency in the church is necessary for growth and for sowing unity among brothers. By covering up sins of abusers, of pastors, of church workers, of volunteers, or members, the church sows discord. It makes survivors become victims again and alienates them from the love and support of their church family. Is it any wonder that so many leave the church and lose their faith after this happens to them?

I leave you with this: 1 John 4:8 "Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." Does your church show love to survivors, does it work tirelessly to restore them, to  help bring them to a place of healing, despite the anger, hurt, and shame that they feel? Or do they marginalize, belittle, and lie about them and their experiences? Re-victimization, by spiritually and emotionally abusing and manipulating them is the real deadly sin because it causes all of the other hated sins to occur by default.